10 point pathway to improving your Child’s Attention and Listening.

A ten point plan or ‘pathway’ for improving your child’s attention and listening.

I want to share a ten point plan or ‘pathway’ for improving your child’s attention and listening. Some of the points may take a bit of effort to implement but by doing so you can have a really positive impact on your child’s skills in this area.

Rule out hearing, vision and sensory difficulties.

If your child’s attention and listening is a concern, it is important to firstly rule out hearing, vision and sensory difficulties. It will be much harder to make progress with these skills if these are at the route of your child’s problem.

2. Ditch the dummy.

A dummy supports your child to calm down, but it creates an unnatural peak and trough of attention throughout the day. Some children use a teddy or other comforter in a similar way. Children who are hyper-active, often use their dummy or comforter of choice to help regulate their mood. As parents we think ‘thank goodness, peace at last’ but it is not a good cycle. You want children to manage their attention and listening more evenly throughout the whole day, rather than promoting this cycle of peaks and troughs by giving them their comforter. (https://www.facebook.com/ditchthedummysupport)

3. Limit screen time.

Television can be used by children in the same way. Limiting screen time has been shown to have a huge impact on children’s attention and listening. Your child is hyper and not listening, you put the television on, they calm down, you get your life back, you’re able to think, but, they are not learning to regulate their mood and calm themselves down without it. Moreover the constant flashing pictures and sound re-ignite your child’s senses. They are not learning how to keep their attention as the television is falsely stimulating it. It’s a double edged sword. It hinders there attention and listening in 2 ways. A screen time detox, with a gradual and partial reintroduction can produce dramatic results.

4. Declutter your play room.

Have enough toys and activities available to stimulate interest but put the rest away and rotate them. Avoid a big chaotic room full of toys. An orderly playroom will help your child maintain their concentration and stay calm.

5. Be aware of how you talk to your child.

Be aware of how you talk to your child. How many words do you say in a sentence? How many questions do you ask? How many times do you say their name when they aren’t answering you? How many times do you give them a direction? How often do you say no, or tell them that they are doing something wrong. It might be worth having a tally chart and noting down how often you do these things. Keep your language short, and speak calmly and slowly. Reduce the amount you are talking, talk more quietly and give your child a chance to listen and respond.

6. Watch your body language.

If your child is manic watch what you do with your body language. Our body language tends to match our child’s if they are shouting we tend to shout. As adults we need to model calmness in our language and our body language.

7. Get outside more.

The more you can be outside the better. Being outside in nature is proven to calm us all down and it will calm your child down. Anywhere where you can be surrounded by nature, beside trees, fields, by the sea. Physical activity is also important. The more energy your child burns off through this the calmer they are going to be in your home.

8. Increase fruit and vegetable consumption.

There is a link between nutrition and attention and listening. It is really important that your child eats enough fruit and vegetables. Children with language delay are often picky eaters, tending to prefer beige food (usually dry, crispy, carbohydrate and maybe dairy products) but try to find ways to add fruit and vegetables to your child’s diet. You could try a smoothie, or a yoghurt with fresh fruit in it rather than a shop bought yoghurt. Finding ways to sneak in fruit and veg can have a big impact on children’s learning.

9. Praise more.

This can be tough with a really busy child who is all over the place. Running around, climbing everywhere, they are up, they are down, their legs are in the air. It is very easy to get into a very negative commentary. ‘Get down’, ‘what are you doing’, ‘stop doing that’. I’ve found that only by listening to myself when I’m speaking to my own very active daughter can I keep myself in check. It’s up to us as the adults to turn around our speech and up the praise. Find the positives: notice when they’ve stopped and are playing nicely, notice when they are not running round. Praise, praise, praise when they are doing the right thing and be really specific: ‘You are sitting really nicely’ or ‘I love the way you are doing that jigsaw’. Tell them what it is that they are doing well.

10. Increase structure but decrease instructions

Structure makes children feel secure and routine lets them know what is going to happen but endless instructions won’t help your child’s listening. They will turn off. As adults we switch our ears down too but we don’t find this acceptable in our children. If we have a work colleague or someone we don’t know very well that talks endlessly we start to zone out and think about what we’re going to do on the way home. If you are overly talking, overly giving instructions, overly asking your child to do things, constantly using their name to get their attention, they will just stop listening. But as soon as you stop it, they start paying more attention. Throw in a curve ball once in a while, something that makes it worth them listening, an offer of help or praise, something they want to hear. Say less, ask less questions, comment positively and give lots of praise.